magisteriaexe | (no subject)

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Who: Musashi, Musashi, and Lucy
What: Before Tenma goes back to sleep, she decides to clear the air with Lucy.
Where: Musashi's apartment at Evergreen Terrace
When: Between Parts 1 and 2 of the event

It starts with a text to Lucy's aXess device, once everything has calmed down and the situation at the mall has been resolved (unfortunately, the metal guy got away, but the actions of several Otherworlders meant he didn't get everyone in the mall), and Phantom Cipher's transformations had been taken care of.

The username is a familiar one; Musashi often texts with memes she's found that amuse her or pictures of things she sees around Magisteria she thinks are cool or Lucy might want to investigate (it's a given Musashi will go with her), and even the occasional workout selfie. But the text of the message is clearly written by a stranger's hand. It just so happens this stranger wears the face of her friend.

Kushinada-san, I wondered if you might be willing to stop by the apartment. Oh, this is Tenma, if that wasn't clear! I was hoping we might have a sit down and talk since our first encounter wasn't, hmm, conducive to conversation. hahaha!

Don't be concerned, I'll be handing the reins back to your Musashi soon, and I think it would be nicer if she didn't wake up alone.

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Even though Tenma said that she'll bring Musashi back, part of Lucy is still fully convinced it'll never happen. She watches Tenma settle at the miniature garden, half-convinced it's some bullshit that'll end... how? With Tenma just pretending to be Musashi? Smirking at Lucy and saying she's never coming back? Walking out and claiming Musashi's life?

Nothing seems to happen for a while, and then light starts creeping over Tenma's body, so bright that Lucy has to raise a hand to shade her eyes. Abruptly, it's gone, and when Lucy looks, blinking to clear her vision--

It's Musashi.

It's not just Tenma pretending. It really is Musashi, with her rumpled hair and her kimono and her big stupid grin.

Relief hits Lucy so hard that her heart lurches with it, breath whistling out of her like she's been gutpunched. And it's at that moment that Lucy realizes that, no matter what she'd said to Tenma, she'd really been wholeheartedly expecting she'd never get Musashi back. Like she'd been in pre-mourning already, even before she'd known for sure.

There's a million things Lucy could say here. She could be her usual cool self, acting casual, like it's no big deal. She could thank Musashi for doing what she did. She could yell at her for doing what she did. Instead, the only thing that seems to make sense is crossing the apartment, eyes wide and intent, grabbing a double handful of the front of that kimono and yanking Musashi in for a kiss.

It's not storybook. Lucy's all teeth and desperation, one hand winding around the back of Musashi's neck to push her fingertips into soft blonde hair, grabbing tight like she's trying to prove that Musashi's not just going to vanish.

It's like passing someone in a hallway, and a note being slipped from one hand to the other in the split-second you pass each other by. It's a little snippet of information, enough to form a blurry image of what went on while Tenma was in control. Not memories so much as blurry videos through a television screen. There was a fight. Tenma encountered Gilgamesh too, not the Caster she knows, but another Gilgamesh, cold and mighty, the absolute king of the world.

She knows that Lucy was saved, if not by Tenma's hand then by someone else, and that is all that matters when she sees the Edgerunner across the apartment, safe and herself again. But when Lucy begins crossing towards her, expression unreadable and steps purposeful, her smile fades just a bit. She knows she broke her promise, and that having to interact with Tenma was probably not a pleasant experience for her, but Musashi only wanted to ensure that she'd be safe, and the city wouldn't be facing down another King of Heroes, or whatever twisted version of her Phantom Cipher might have turned her into.

But she's determined to let Lucy say whatever it is she needs to say, do whatever it is she needs to do. They can go from there. A slap? A hug? A slap and a hug?

She's not expecting Lucy to grab her by the kimono, pull her forward with a hungry desperation...and kiss her, reaching up to grab her hair with her hand, as though trying to ensure Musashi won't just disappear or turn back, just keep her here in this moment.

Musashi does what she can to help with that, wrapping her arms around Lucy's waist and pulling her closer, so their bodies can be in direct contact with each other, so Lucy can feel her, her heat, her presence, her...her love. To reassure her that she's here, she's staying, she's not going to go away.

Musashi's never actually done this before. Tenma could certainly appreciate a beautiful maiden or handsome warrior, even take enjoyment of the view, but she never viewed pursuit of anything but the mastery of the twin swords important, or a necessity. She had lived the pure life of one devoted solely to mastering her art, and through that art, enlightenment. It wasn't until the first time her Spirit Core changed and she became herself that the idea of sharing a life, a passionate romance like the old epics, started to have any appeal, and the Waxing Moon Ritual allowed no time for that. And that experience had been all too brief, until Magisteria, when she had truly, finally become Musashi for good, separate and whole from Tenma and not just a facet of her.

So if Lucy is all teeth and desperation, Musashi is earnest and inexperienced. She deepens the kiss in return, as best she can, and leans back, lifting Lucy up off her feet and turning slowly because they've both waited so long for this moment, they deserve for it to be everything they want it to be, and Lucy deserves to be up among the clouds. She deserves to fly.

When the kiss breaks apart, Musashi does not pull back much. Her lips are electric, buzzing in a way she never knew they could, and still thrumming with the taste of Lucy upon them, and violet, electric eyes.

"Hey."

She's lifted up, and by instinct, Lucy wraps her legs around Musashi's waist, ankles crossed at the berserker's spine, both hands cradling the back of Musashi's skull. She pours into the kiss everything that she has; her rage, her loss, her affection.

When Musashi pulls back, they don't part very far, still sharing the same air. Lucy shudders a sigh into that space.

"Hey," she breathes. Eyes wide, staring at Musashi like she's the only thing worth beholding in this universe, like there's an empty space inside of her that only the sight of a freshly-kissed Musashi will fill. Intent, gaze flickering over every detail of Musashi's face.

She really thought she'd lost her. In the end, Tenma hadn't been too bad, but Lucy's a pessimist. Shit changes for the worse, she's going to believe shit's staying changed. She'd taken one look at Tenma and something inside of her had screamed that Musashi was never coming back, just like David was never coming back, just like Maine and Dorio and Kiwi and Rebecca and Pilar. Because that's just how her life goes, isn't it?

Except Musashi came back.

"You-- fucking asshole." It comes out choked. "You courageous fucking idiot. You brave, self-sacrificing, short-circed--"

Lucy cuts herself off by swooping in for another kiss, needing Musashi's lips against hers more than she needs air.

She's beautiful. Staring up into her electric eyes, Musashi takes in the sight of Lucy like she's never allowed herself to before, to really drink in her features, the way her hair falls across her forehead and frames her face, the way her lips part slightly after the kiss, even the little movements of her throat...they're all beautiful. She's beautiful.

Her beautiful Lucy, who lives on the edge and dances in the digital.

But as she breaks down in Musashi's arms, choking out her anger and praise in equal measure, Musashi begins to understand the desperate need Lucy has for her, the hungry way in which she was pulled in for the kiss, and the sheer ferocity of the emotions behind it.

Lucy really thought she was never going to come back, didn't she? Of course she did. How could Musashi not have foreseen that. She knew Tenma would switch back, knew her other self to be an honourable soul at heart who had lived enough already, but Lucy, frightened and having lost people already, had no way of knowing that. No reason to trust that Tenma's return was only temporary. No reason to believe she wouldn't lose Musashi the way she lost Rebecca...and others besides.

But the realization is drowned in another fierce kiss, and Musashi is eager to return it in equal passion and intensity, more confident now in herself and in what she wants to give Lucy.

It also manages to elicit a small whimper of pleasure from Musashi as they do so. Oh gods, this is what Tenma denied herself? Her grip tightens on Lucy's back, grabbing the material of her top in her grip, wanting to keep her close.

When the kiss finally breaks again, and Musashi's breath is ragged and heavy, it takes her a moment to find her voice.

"Lucy...I would have torn myself out of her to come back to you if she had decided she preferred to stay." That's not fair to Tenma of course, who never harboured such intentions, but it's the truth regardless, and what Lucy needs to hear. In her rush, Musashi had never considered how alone Lucy must really feel, and all the people who would have had to have left her one way or another for that...

"My other self, that gonk Smasher, Phantom Cipher, no one would stop me from coming back to you. My life does not belong to them. It is not theirs to take, and it is not mine to give it to them. To let them have it would be the greatest dishonour." She closes her eyes and leans forward, resting her forehead against her lover's.

"My life belongs to you, Lucy Kushinada, and you alone. Nothing will ever keep me from returning to your side."

Though an awful shudder runs through Lucy at the mention of Smasher's name, she can't look away from Musashi fierce gaze, the shape of her lips as she's sounding out promises that sound sweet and determined and impossible. This close, their foreheads pressed together, Lucy imagines she can almost hear Musashi's heartbeat, the sound of air rushing in and out of her lungs, a biological signature from the same body but a different mind. The urge to shake her and yell at her and futilely beat her fists against Musashi's chest is slowly fading.

"I'm gonna hold you to that, you know." Her voice is shaking, but she can't help the warmth in her eyes, a spark of affection amidst the howling void of almost-loss.

She eases down to stand on her own two feet, hands easing down from cradling Musashi's skull to her spine, to the small of her back, clutching at her kimono. This past week has been a lot -- Smasher, and the corruption in the city, getting corrupted herself, and not to mention that Smasher is still out there somewhere, still haunting Lucy's every thought -- but here she can find some measure of solace. In Musashi's arms, it's so easy to feel safe.

Just to double-check, she cradles Musashi's cheek in her palm, drawing back to study her eyes.

"Fuck." It's only then that the tears spill over, leaving streaks of red eyeliner down her cheeks. Lucy breathes out a wobbly laugh. "Shit, I can't believe you came back. You're really here. I was sure-- I guess I shouldn't have doubted you."

The shudder that escapes Lucy when the hated name comes up prompts Musashi to rub the Edgerunner's back, a calming, reassuring gesture. Smasher is out there, in the city somewhere. Later will come the news stories that a hover car broke the cordon around the mall, footage of Smasher boarding it on the roof, taken from nearby buildings, his chassis scorched and half his face gone, disappearing into the depths of the city. Someone hurt him. The full-borged boogeyman might have had his fun, but there on the screen is the proof he's not invincible. He got hurt. Musashi will want to know who did that. It's someone she will want to introduce to Lucy.

But that will come later. Now, Musashi will offer comfort, a gesture of reassurance he isn't here, can't take this moment from them.

When Lucy studies her face, staring deep into Musashi's eyes, the Berserker leans into her touch, gently nuzzling her cheek against Lucy's hand, smiling contentedly at the sensation. Lucy has nice hands.

The laugh is painful, but relieved, and yet a painful reminder of what Musashi's impetuous action did to Lucy. "I'm sorry. I never wanted to make you think I was gone. I knew I could trust Tenma, but...if I had stopped to think for just a moment, I might have realized...I never want to be the cause of your tears."

She runs a hand through Lucy's silvery hair, letting her fingers brush lightly through, with a thoughtful expression. Time to be brave. To more properly articulate the wish she'd spoken of before, on the aXess.

"Hey, Lucy...I know there's pain in your past. Hard things. I know you've lost people." Rebecca she knows, saw the memory of her last conversation, felt the weight of Lucy's regret of all the things left unsaid, and how brightly she died, a last moment of defiance.

Smasher killed her, but Rebecca did not give him her fear, wouldn't let him have that which he craved. And that defiance is worthy of respect, from one warrior to another.

But Rebecca wasn't the only one, of that Musashi feels in her bones. Lucy has lost so many more than just her, and each loss deadened her sense of hope. And the way Rebecca's voice glitched, concealing a memory so deeply, tightly locked away that not even the sword could draw it out unbidden, speaking of a loss beyond all others.

And the shadow of someone Musashi had not realized she had been standing in the whole time as she and Lucy grew closer.

"I wanna be the one you can share that with." Musashi continues. "To know your sorrows as much as your joys. I wanna to know about the ones you cared for, because they're the people who helped you become you."

She pulls back a bit, sliding her hands down to take Lucy's in her own. "You've carried so much for so long...more than anyone should have to bear. So, if there ever comes a time when you think you can speak of them, I'd like to listen. So I can help you bear it all. And...help you keep their memories alive, if you'd allow me that privilege."

She smiles again, and her own eyes are glistening now. Musashi has jumped into battle against deadly, unimaginable odds without hesitation, yet to ask for this, to help ease Lucy's pain...this, Musashi feared. Feared that it might cause her to lose Lucy, to drive her away for good.

Maybe if she'd been braver, they could have been ready when Smasher was air-dropped into their lives like a nightmare made real.

Edited 2025-01-27 07:50 (UTC)

Musashi speaks, and a dawning horror crests so sharply in Lucy that she can taste it in the back of her throat. In all the chaos, she'd almost forgotten the memory the sword had shared between them, a piece of herself that she's been desperately trying to keep from everyone else here, but especially from Musashi.

She just can't shake the feeling that if she tells, then Musashi will meet the same fate. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, an ouroborous of fucked up shit that happens to everybody she loves. But if she can keep it a secret, if she never speaks about it and the universe never hears her, then she can keep Musashi safe -- and Lucy knows it's probably bullshit, but it's what her gut keeps telling her.

And yet, as she stares into those bright blue eyes, and Musashi says impossibly kind, generous, loving things, Lucy finds herself wanting to tell her.

Would it be a relief? Would it be like setting down a burden and allowing someone else to help carry it? Or would the telling of it be like a poison, infecting the thing tentatively blooming between them?

"I--" Lucy starts, lost, so many wants and instincts battling within her that she doesn't even know what she wants to say. She squeezes Musashi's hands so hard her knuckles go white, and takes comfort in the fact that Musashi's strong enough to bear it. Her heart is hammering so loudly in her chest that she can barely hear anything else, fear tingling through every one of her nerves. She feels like she's at a precipice: she could tell Musashi everything, here and now. For a wild moment, she almost feels courageous enough to do it, fueled by fuck it might as well in the midst of a tangle of conflicting emotions.

In the next second, all of that bravado drains as quickly as it came, and Lucy makes the coward's choice.

"Later." Lucy ducks her head, both utterly certain she's making the right choice, and embarrassed by it. "I-- can't. Not yet. I'm not strong enough." She draws in a deep breath. "But... I will. I want to. Eventually."

Musashi hadn't expected Lucy would reveal all right there and then. It's so much, even just from the snippet Musashi saw, too much, and Lucy has lived with it too long. It's enough for now that Musashi makes her intentions plain and clear, that she wants to be the one Lucy can reveal herself fully too, the one she can fully let down the walls around her heart to. So that when she is ready, Musashi will be there.

But even the stating of that intention causes Lucy obvious distress, reminds her of the sword and what Musashi saw. If Musashi were a normal human, Lucy's grip would be quite uncomfortable! And yet, for a second, there's something in her expression that makes Musashi wonder if Lucy will tell her, perhaps buoyed by the support and care being shown...

...but instead she bows her head and says she's not ready yet. She wants to, but...not now. "That's okay. When you're ready." She assures, and yet Musashi feels there is a point that must be addressed. She raises a hand to Lucy's chin a gently raises it up so she can meet her gaze.

"You're stronger than you think you are, Lucy-chan." It sounds trite and cliché, but when Musashi says it, she does so with utter conviction and belief, and she won't let anyone tell Lucy otherwise.

Including Lucy herself.

Then she leans in for another kiss, so Lucy has something else to focus on, and because it is criminal, simply criminal that Musashi hasn't been the one to kiss Lucy yet.

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