magisteriaexe | git gud

git gud

Where: An arcade
Who: Crowley, Gilgamesh, and Rhea'li, and anyone else who wants to get their game on
When: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
What: Crowley is Here to Help with their gamer dreams
Warnings: None

Kira wants him to get Rhea'li and Gilgamesh to win a video game? He can do some miracles on the subject. But first he needs to look the part.

Crowley has observed the video game culture of Magisteria, and he has drawn some conclusions. All the elite gamers are girls, so that's a requirement. And he's seen how they dress.

So when Crowley goes looking for her targets, she does it with a chin-length bob of curly red hair, dressed to kill: two artfully shredded tank tops in cyan and magenta, over a black lace bra, and a black snakeskin miniskirt and clompy black snakeskin platform boots over artfully shredded magenta and cyan fishnet tights.

Rhea'li

When she manages to find the arcade Rhea'li is in at the moment, she drapes herself over his shoulders from behind. "I hear you've been challenged to win some games," she says, without further introduction. She assumes Rhea'li will recognise her--he knows she can shapeshift after all--but it would also be funny if he didn't, so either is fine. "And that it would take a miracle, which is something I can help with."

Gilgamesh

The bugger calling himself Gilgamesh is easy to track down. He is, as always, loud and self-aggrandizing, boasting of his prowess at something or other while getting absolutely creamed by a girl who looks about fourteen who has cat-ear headphones nestled behind her horns.

Crowley leans against a nearby machine and manifests some cyan-and-magenta pom-poms. Kira wants her to make Gil win, but nothing said she couldn't make fun of him first. And he's so very easy to encourage.

She waves the pom-poms vaguely. "Gil, Gil, he's our man, if he can't do it, no one can!"

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Somehow, Rhea'li doesn't startle too obviously when Crowley drapes herself over him, instead going still. His ears, however, spring vertical, betraying his surprise. Turning his head, he sees a new 'gamer' he doesn't recognise despite there being something oddly familiar about her.

His brow furrows; is he being propositioned?

"If you were sent by the demon girls to distract me, I'm afraid it will not work."

“No, I was sent by the demon girls to make you win something, because apparently you’re embarrassing.” Rhea’li doesn’t recognise her. That’s hilarious. She grins at him, golden eyes wide and teasing. “Why, am I not distracting? I worked hard picking this outfit so I’d suit the atmosphere!”

Rhea'li considers that for a long moment, unphased by the teasing. Why would the demon girls want him to win? Especially after the effort (if it can be called that, when their skills are significantly better) they put into not letting him and Gilgamesh win?

"You certainly fit right in with your outfit," he replies carefully. And it's true; many of the girls at the arcade are dressed similarly, albeit with their own personal stylish flairs. He's not at all bothered by the large tracts of... land... on show by this woman's clothing choice, but he can't quite put his finger on why she seems so familiar.

"If they want me to win," he grins, "then mayhap you could ask them to go easy on me?"

He's quite certain they would not. And he has his own pride that he wouldn't accept winning if they lost on purpose, even if this entire endeavour is simply a way to pass a little time here and there between the odd jobs he's been doing.

“Nah, that’s not my skillset. But miracles are, and it seems it would take one. Would you prefer to be improved, or your opponent sabotaged?”

The girl playing against Rhea’li rolls her eyes, apparently not considering such a forced win valid enough to mind, even though she can clearly hear Crowley. “Can you make him actually interesting to play against? Because this is just sad.”

“See, that,” Crowley gestures at her, “is why Kira sent me. Your futile struggles are depressing or something.” She grins at him sidelong. “Really, Rhea’li, I thought you were good with your hands.”

Somehow, Rhea'li manages to keep a straight face as he stills quite suddenly, gears turning in his head.

"...Crowley?" is all he manages at first, trying and failing to not sound stupefied. "You look..."

His gaze slides down, then back up.

She steps back and poses a little, showing off her legs in her rather short skirt. “Like it?” Crowley grins. “Took you a minute.”

Rhea'li laughs quietly at the posing, recovering his wits though his tail twitches. "The serpentine pattern is obvious in hindsight, no? 'Tis a fine look."

And very different from the appearance he's more used to; pressed fabric in neat lines and creases from Crowley's tendency to sprawl across any seat he's in.

The flamboyance is the same, though.

"I would not mind being distracted by you..." A wide grin. "...later." He still has a match to win?

The demon girl pointedly mimes vomiting.

“So, do you want your performance improved, or your opponent sabotaged?” She’s honestly tempted to attempt to be distracting anyway, because the way he’s looking her over is fun. But she did have a task here.

Rhea'li glances over at the demon girl, who makes a big show of yawning loudly.

"Well... she said she wanted me to be interesting to play against. And if she were sabotaged that would be no fun for her, no?"

Should he be concerned about how, exactly, Crowley intended to improve his performance? He mentioned miracles but... it isn't exactly an unusual thing for him to receive power from strange sources.

"I would have you aid my performance."

"Coming right up." Crowley snaps her fingers, and Rhea'li's character on the screen doubles in size and health. His weapon also doubles in size (and damage, though that's less visible). "See if that does it, then." She folds her arms on the back of his chair, slouching there to watch over his shoulder as he plays the next round against the demon girl.

Rhea'li's opponent stretches and cracks her knuckles -- "Finally! Y'all gab like old ladies." -- while Rhea'li himself looks over his enlarged character, the faint memory of Titania's, 'bigger is better,' echoing in his mind.

That's not necessarily true but he'll trust in Crowley's help.

Returning to his side of the machine, Rhea'li turns his gaze to his screen, ready to try again.

He does... better. The boost in damage helps him press the advantage in the few openings the demon girl gives him. It is a little strange to see her character's attacks not connect with his character despite the larger size, but he realises quickly that there is a disconnect between his character's appearance and where he would take damage. It takes a little time for both of competitors to adjust to the change but soon Rhea'li's character is once again plastered onto the floor of the virtual arena.

It's a much closer match this time.

Crowley laughs. "I'm millennia old, so maybe I should sound like an old lady."

Crowley watches the match with bated breath and an increasing frown. "Hm. Not quite enough. What if I..." This time, the character becomes very small--barely knee high on the competition--and she makes sure to shrink the hitbox as well. The weapon stays jumbo-sized. "Try again."

Rhea'li can't help but wonder how Crowley is changing his character. He'd observed Lucy hacking to extract information from electronics but Crowley just kind of... does it?

Focus.

"Ready for another round of getting your butt kicked?"

Rhea'li takes hold of the controls. "I will be the one who snatches victory this time."

This time, he's more prepared for the dissonance of his small character moving what appears to be a much longer distance (but in reality is the same as before). Even with the advantages that Crowley has bestowed upon him, his opponent is truly very skilled. Still, he knows better than to let his guard down even when he has the advantage, and by keeping a cool head he slowly but surely claws his way to victory!

(Though it did look dire at numerous points...)

Rhea'li doesn't need a chaperone but Emet-Selch is bored enough to come out and keep an eye on him anyway. Unfortunately, nothing could persuade him to shapeshift the way Azem does and adopt a female form, and so he sticks out like a sore thumb amidst the other gamers. He tries to ignore the glances and whispers though, fixing his gaze on the leaderboard for whatever game it is that the Warrior of Light has thrown himself into.

Thus, he doesn't notice Crowley's initial approach until they bump into him.

"I beg your pardon," he mutters, shifting back.

Oh, that is very obviously another Otherworlder. He is dressed nothing like anyone. Even Rhea'li goes for more colour than this. She eyeballs him. "Soz. You here to cheer on Rhea'li, then?"

Is that meant to be an apology, he wonders? These people and their loose vernacular... He decides to take it as one.

"What makes you think I'm here to cheer him on specifically?" he asks, frowning.

(Well, it's not like Crowley is wrong...)

She’s still trying to sort out whether she’s supposed to be polite to people or not, it’s complicated being an unattached demon. It’s a compromise, apologizing without it being polite!

“You’re obviously an Otherworlder too, and you’re watching the leaderboard for the one he’s playing. Going to cheerlead? He’s about to be doing a lot better.” Crowley grins at him, all teeth and yellow eyes.

He stares for a little while before his brow slowly furrows. Then he glances away, as if he couldn't care less.

"What do you mean by that?" he asks cautiously. "If you're planning to cheat..."

He would be morally obliged to step in.

Oh Hell, is he going to make this difficult for her about it? "Does it count as cheating if the... head gamer girl... asked me to do it?" What is Kira, anyway? Does she have a title? "Anyway, it's video games, there are entire industries cheating at video games on Earth."

Well, that makes his head whip back around to her.

"Why would she ask you to do that?" he says incredulously. "No, I know people enjoy cheating, but that doesn't make it right. What sort of victory is it when you rig the odds in your favour?"

That doesn't seem like something Rhea'li would appreciate if he knew about it...he thinks. Maybe? He's suddenly not sure any more.

“Think of it like a voluntary handicap,” she offers. “Rhea’li and that bugger calling himself Gilgamesh are so terrible that apparently it’s depressing to constantly curb stomp them. Kira wants them to be… less pathetic.” She looks him over. “Didn’t take you for the honour above all type.”

"Oh."

You know what? He can understand that sentiment. He knows what that disappointment feels like.

He rolls his shoulders in a vaguely irritable shrug though and crosses his arms.

"I have my principles," he mutters. "But mayhap I'll look the other way this once."

Is he sulking? He does look rather the broody type, doesn't he?

"It's up to Rhea'li and 'Gilgamesh' to accept or decline my aid. But," she throws a wink at him, arching her back a bit to really emphasize how little the tank tops she's wearing cover, "I'd like to think I can be convincing."

She pauses. "To Rhea'li, anyway. The other one is far too full of himself, that is not attractive. But I can just flatter him into it, I think, with an ego like that."

What does sexual attraction have to do with encouraging the Warrior of Light to play better? Wouldn't it have the opposite effect and be a distraction? Emet-Selch truly doesn't understand how their hero's mind works sometimes.

(He seems wholly disinterested in oggling Crowley's assets himself.)

"That Gilgamesh claims to be a king so flattery, I'm sure, will get you far with him." He glances at the screens above them again. "Rhea'li is...a simpler boy, I suppose."

That's the nicest way to put it perhaps.

Hey, if she does enough miracles, it wouldn't even matter if he's looking at the screen at all! But she isn't actually planning to make him better by being sexy at him, that would be silly.

She snorts. "Shall I tell him you said so?"

A pause.

"Anyway, Rhea'li is... nice. I like him." She wrinkles her nose, as if that was painful to admit. "And he doesn't seem to mind putting up with me. If he really doesn't want help, I won't."

An exasperated shrug from him. Even if Crowley tells Rhea'li what he just said, it doesn't matter. He's said and done worse to the man.

"No, I'm sure he'll welcome your help," he says with a sigh, shaking his head. "Making the best use of the help he receives is one of his strengths."

"Why fuss, then? Married to honour?" She raises a questioning eyebrow at him. "Not even your own honour. Do you want everything to be fair, then?"

"Is that such a bad thing?" he asks irritably. "To want everything to be equal and fair? Before you say it, yes, I am aware that everyone has something they're talented at, or something they severely lack. And I know how lonely it is to have no peer in either regard."

What's the point he's trying to make? Emet-Selch isn't sure. He falls silent briefly to rally his thoughts together.

"I don't know what kind of help you intend to give and I suppose 'tis none of my business in the end. I just think...that if it is the sort of help which ignores skill, then why bother competing? What satisfaction do you get from a victory not of your own effort?"

Needless to say, Gilgamesh jumps to exactly the same conclusion that his current ... partner (ugh, King of Heroes does not take on companions, but whatever!) ... has done: namely that his would-be "business partner," whom he of course does not recognize in this form, is another demon girl come to mount some subterfuge effort.

On the other hand, Gilgamesh's ego is naturally such that the praises throw him somewhat. He could scarcely believe that any mongrel would cheer him on unless it is entirely sincere, being as that is what his majesty inspires. Thus he is presently torn between suspicion and supposing that this newcomer might be some chaos agent who has decided to switch sides. Or is she something else altogether? Magisteria is always full of surprises. If there is one thing Gilgamesh and the rest of the Otherworlders (no doubt) have learned, it is this.

"Hmph... of course, that is the case..." Gilgamesh agrees, readily. Praising him will get you everywhere, you know. "Yet who are you? Can it be that I have begun to form a legend in the gamer circuit, already?"

Despite, well -- he simply does not even look at the girl with the cat-ear headphones. Okay, Gilgamesh is not one to question those who sing his kingly praises, but what is going on here? Here he has been thinking how he and Rhea'li could enhance their training to fast-track them into gaming success, perhaps using some Magisterian time manipulation technology (if such existed) so that they could speed time 2-3x times during their arcade grinding. Certainly this is a reasonable method of training for such a challenge.

"You're definitely legendary," Crowley agrees. Legendarily terrible. He's not surprised the man is assuming she's just one of the gamer girls.

But hey, she can work with that. It would be funny for cheerleading to actually do something, right? She waves a pom-pom and Gilgamesh's racecar on the screen spouts flames out of the back and starts going twice as fast. The girl with the cat ear headphones snorts. "You're going to have to fix his steering, too, if you want that to do any good."

The girl is both right and wrong on this point. Yes, Gilgamesh's steering might be somewhat questionable -- to some mongrels, anyway; he's pleased enough with it -- but with the upgrade provided, said questionable steering results in Gilgamesh's now monstrous vehicle quite literally wheeling into his (cute) demonic rival's car and wheeling the both of them off the road in a flaming heap, accompanied by the screeching of tires and a full adrenaline rush.

... well, Gilgamesh may not have won, but at least they both lost. Quite spectacularly, in fact! He laughs heartily, quite thoroughly pleased with this outcome.

"Ahahaha, look at that! Run out, were you, mongrel?" Oh, yes. That's another thing: Gilgamesh is fully in the habit of gamer trash talk now. "That vehicle of yours is now in the trash heap... a most satisfying immolation..."

And he's not even questioning the mechanics or just how exactly this happened. Gilgamesh is just so pleased by this virtual catastrophe, complete with racing and explosions. Ah, Magisterian gaming is truly more fun than he had perhaps anticipated...

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