After storming out of the bathhouse, Lucy had felt unbearably childish. No, she'd felt unbearably childish while storming out of the bathhouse, like she'd astral projected outside of her body and couldn't bear the sheer embarrassment of her reddened eyes or her quivering bottom lip. She'd had no choice but to commit to the action anyway, and when she'd gone home she'd just researched the Magisteria version of BrainDances and did her best to not think about it.
Musashi had returned her vape. Of course she had. A cute little note saying sorry, as if Musashi had any idea what needed to be apologized for, and her stupid vape sitting on her doorstep.
Lucy had rehearsed a hundred ways to go back to Musashi and explain herself, but the knowledge that she'd have to be vulnerable held her back. Almost crying in front of her in the bathhouse had been bad enough; she's nowhere close to being strong enough to share important things with Musashi. How can she look her in the eye and tell her that she doesn't even know how David died? That when she closes her eyes at night, she runs scenarios endlessly in her mind, trying to calculate what specific damage had finally ended him? Wondering on a loop if he'd even been coherent at the end, if Smasher had blown his brains out or shot him in the heart or bled him to death. She can't comprehend the scope of explaining this to Musashi.
So here she is. Pretending it never happened. Smiling smugly over at Musashi like she never ran from a bathhouse with her broken heart in her shaking hands.
She can keep this up, right?
"Just try to keep up."
It comes out cocky and assured and with no trembling at all; a win in her books. So Lucy sets off at a run, just regular old running at first, heading toward the first part of the obstacle course, a climbing wall dotted with handholds and divots.
no subject
Musashi had returned her vape. Of course she had. A cute little note saying sorry, as if Musashi had any idea what needed to be apologized for, and her stupid vape sitting on her doorstep.
Lucy had rehearsed a hundred ways to go back to Musashi and explain herself, but the knowledge that she'd have to be vulnerable held her back. Almost crying in front of her in the bathhouse had been bad enough; she's nowhere close to being strong enough to share important things with Musashi. How can she look her in the eye and tell her that she doesn't even know how David died? That when she closes her eyes at night, she runs scenarios endlessly in her mind, trying to calculate what specific damage had finally ended him? Wondering on a loop if he'd even been coherent at the end, if Smasher had blown his brains out or shot him in the heart or bled him to death. She can't comprehend the scope of explaining this to Musashi.
So here she is. Pretending it never happened. Smiling smugly over at Musashi like she never ran from a bathhouse with her broken heart in her shaking hands.
She can keep this up, right?
"Just try to keep up."
It comes out cocky and assured and with no trembling at all; a win in her books. So Lucy sets off at a run, just regular old running at first, heading toward the first part of the obstacle course, a climbing wall dotted with handholds and divots.